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When you open your mouth, when you text, when you chat with guys, how do you talk to them?
Are you talking as if these guys are going to be guys who just don’t get it? Are you explaining everything about who you are as if people aren’t going to understand you? Are you hiding who you are as if they need to be shielded and protected from your genuine true self or as if you need to keep a wall up to protect yourself? Are you carefully crafting what might be the “perfect” thing to say?
Or are you talking as if these people are your soul mates and of course they’re going to get it, get you? Do you trust yourself enough to let people in, at least enough to let them into the foyer of your heart, to let them get a little comfortable with you? Do you treat them as competent people, capable of healthy relationships?
One of the BIGGEST reason people attract men (and people in general) who just don’t get who they are, who aren’t compatible, who they CAN’T create magical relationships with is because they treat it like a relationship that will never work the way they want it to.
Sure, men, even our soulmates, aren’t going to always get everything we want. They aren’t mind readers. They’re going to mess up. We’re going to mess up. But HOW we explain it when we’re confident that men WANT to please us, that, OF COURSE, they’ll get it, and NATURALLY it’s all going to work out gets us waaaayyy different results than explaining it as if you have to play a game to get them in order to get him, that he’ll never get it but you’ll roll your eyes and TRY and explain anyways, or that he’s intentionally being obtuse because he just doesn’t care enough.
When you interact with him fully believing that he genuinely desires to please you, that if he’s the right one (or at least the right one for now) then he’ll totally get you, that your humor will always draw a chuckle (or outright laughter), that your stories are so interesting that you’ll always keep his attention, that you’re sexy and of course he knows it, and that when you part ways it would be downright silly for him not to be dreaming about seeing you again (while natually going with the flow in both your schedules, because you both have AMAZING lives), THAT is when you start creating magic in your relationships.
Will he be perfect? No. Will he actually always be interested in what you’re talking about? No. Will he always succeed in making you happy? No. Welcome to the human experience.
But when you believe he will most of the time, when you get that it’s the human in him and don’t take it as a personal attack on your value, then you create a safe space for him to put his best effort in.
Because men lose interest quickly in women who are insecure, hiding, playing games, trying to make something specific happen with him, desperate, jealous (not just of other women, but of their friends, jobs, family, kids, hobbies, etc).
Men are looking for women they can see in their lives. Women that fit with his personality and his lifestyle. Women who bring something to his life that was missing before. He’s’ not looking for perfect; he’s looking for perfect for him, who can handle her own glorious messy life and can be ok with him handling his. He’s not looking for a doormat or a woman who never speaks her mind; he’s looking for someone who challenges him just by being herself, by her cheerfully and cheekily sticking with her opinions and her beliefs. And once he finds a woman who brings something to his life, who enhances it, that’s when he can’t imagine her being gone. That’s when he’ll go to great lengths to keep her in his life.
He’s looking for magic too, even if he’d never use that word.
And how amazingly easy is it to begin a magical relationship when you bring the MAGIC. Every. Single. Time.
Because the magic is you. The magic is you being your amazing self and naturally, easily, effortlessly, magnetically drawing in men who attracted to you. No games. No gimmicks. No tricks and walls for them to climb over to prove their worth. No throwing yourself at men. No trying to convince them that you’re a good candidate. No endless analyzing and guessing what he wants and then bending over backward to try and do/be that.
You get to just be you. Glorious, flawed, fabulous, intriguing, messy, lovely, lovable, sassy, funny, flirty, whatever words describe you (not some list from a book or magazine).
Talk to people AS IF they are your ideal people. The ones who don’t get you, who don’t see the magic, they get to leave and aren’t worth your time anymore (even mentally). The ones who get it will stay. They get to partake in the prize of a magical relationship with you.
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